A Pet Peeve

“Pet peeve”. It’s a strange description, if you think about it.  I guess since a “peeve” is something that annoys you, if it continues to annoy you and stays around, it becomes a “pet”.

My all-time major pet peeve is liars. Liars and lying are the worst. You trust someone, you believe what they tell you and act accordingly. Then later you find out that it was a lie. Or a multitude of lies. Geez. Then you wonder how many other lies have they told you? And I’m not talking about the little white lies told to spare someone’s feelings. They’re called white lies for a reason. “Oh, you really love those colors together? Yeah, they’re great!” Because telling the truth would hurt the person more than glossing over it with a white lie. And no harm is done by telling the white lie.

There are those small lies, like when your child denies breaking something. “I didn’t do it.” When there was no one else around that could’ve done it. I would always tell my son that he would be in more trouble for lying than he would be if he told the truth about what happened. Because compounding the lie on top of the accident brings in distrust. It doesn’t save you. He’s an only child, so blaming a sibling wasn’t an option and he didn’t have any wiggle room in that area. You have a lot more room for doubt when there are siblings to blame. As a kid, I got blamed plenty by my younger sisters and took the heat fairly often because I was older and “should know better”.

Then there are the lies that have an everlasting effect on someone. The ones that put cracks in, or completely destroys your trust in them. The ones that forever after make you pause & think about what they’re saying, weighing if it’s the truth or not. There are so many levels of lies from the cheating spouse (at the top) to “Oh no! I didn’t say that about you! I’d never talk about you like that.” When you’ve actually heard them talking about you like that and they didn’t know you heard them. But I guess it’s human nature to cover your ass. I mean, what would I expect her to say? “Yeah, I said it.” Then I’d want her to explain why, which would put her even deeper in the hole of admitting she did something wrong. It’s not gonna happen. It’s way too easy for people to deny any wrong-doing and to cover a lie with more lies. But now, not only has she disparaged me behind my back, she has also lied about it. She lies to my face because she still wants to be friends? Why exactly? If she still wants to be friends, why would she talk about me like that behind my back? What kind of friend is that?

Everyone that knows me, knows I cannot stand liars. Do not freaking lie to me! Just tell me the truth. If I ask you if these pants make my butt look big, tell me the truth. It’s why I’m asking. I mean, you can be tactful about it. Not like “Oh my gosh! Who let the elephant into the room?!” We should be honest with one another in a friendly, tactful fashion. “Well, I don’t think that style works for you. We should keep looking.” Point taken. I can conclude for myself that my butt looks like the front of an 18-wheeler in these pants.

Then there are the acquaintances that lie to you. People that you have interaction with that aren’t your friends or family. Like the builder of our house. 6 months have gone by since we moved in and there are still things that he’s suppose to fix. Every week I hear “They’ll get it done this week.” or “They’ll be out next week.” with some excuse as to why they haven’t been out yet. So a pile of lies to the point that I don’t believe anything he says. To the point that if I never see or hear from him again it’ll be too soon. I question everything about his integrity because as he lies to me every time I contact him, it erodes any respect that I had for him and as spillover, anyone that works for him. As my opinion of him and his company goes farther downhill, my likelihood of recommending him to someone else is vaporized. This is the obliteration of trust through lies.

Trust is a precious and fragile thing. Easily destroyed by lies and very difficult to rebuild.


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