It’s a lot of waiting. Sitting here in a room designated for just that. Hubs is having open heart surgery at the very moment I’m writing this.

I wrote a post earlier about being scared and worried, but I deleted it. It wasn’t very upbeat.

I don’t usually, but I read about open heart surgery and bypasses. At least I waited until now to do it. I was better off ignorant. Usually knowledge helps to ease my anxiety over things. The Mayo Clinic explained it well, but it only increased my anxiety.

They actually put him on a heart & lung bypass machine that pumps blood and oxygen through the body. The heart is stopped. Literally stopped so the surgeon can work on it. I feel the clench of anxiety in my stomach just writing that.

We had to be here at 5:30 am. Which meant getting up at 4:00 am. I feel like I’ve been in a fog the whole time. But now I’m getting a clearer head. Second wind? Maybe it’s the protein from the almonds I ate. Maybe it’s because it’s 9:15 am now which is normal human time for me. I had some protein before I left the house, but it only kept me from getting hungry sooner. Not give me energy.

I haven’t had this much fear and anxiety in quite a while. Not even when I found out I had cancer. Maybe because it was happening to me. It’s much harder to deal with when it’s happening to someone else.

He will be in the hospital for a week, which means he/I will be having Christmas and his birthday in the hospital. Yay. It wouldn’t have been that way if the insurance company had done their job when they were supposed to.

It’ll be a few hours (3-6) for the surgery. All I can do is wait. And hope he’ll be ok.

UPDATE: Hubs made it through surgery ok. Taking it day by day now.

15 thoughts on “Waiting

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  1. Thinking of you both as you endure his procedure. Sensing healing vibes and hopes for the best possible outcome with minimal discomfort. You’re in capable well-trained, compassionate hands.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. After reading this, I was wishing I could be in that waiting room with you. I can understand the anxiety and yes, the waiting is always hard when a loved one is undergoing surgery. I hope all went well and that hubby’s recovery will go smoothly. I did read your first post but it was taken down before I could comment. I SO understand. Sending warm thoughts and hugs your way…..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw Gail, you’re so sweet. Not too long after I posted this, the doctor came & told me all went well. Hubs is in ICU and recovering. He’s doing ok.
      Yeah, I felt that first post was too dark, not that this one was rainbows & sparkles.
      Thanks so much for your comment, it did make me feel better. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. While I haven’t been the spouse of someone going through a heart surgery experience, I’ve been there in the waiting room with someone who has. The waiting is very hard. I’m so glad to hear your hubby is on the other side of the surgery and doing well. I wish you both continued healing and strength. Heart surgery is quite amazing nowadays. I’m sending hugs and healing prayers your way! 🙏🏻🤗

    Liked by 1 person

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