Here are some things that horses want you to know:
- 1. When you’re out in the pasture, don’t creep towards them like you’re Nosferatu. I mean, really. Who wouldn’t run from something like this?!
2. If you’re trying to hide the halter or bridle behind your back, it doesn’t work on the wise ones. Only the young and slow ones fall for that. Why? Because they know humans have two arms and if one is missing, it’s because they’re hiding something. Plus they can smell leather from two miles away.
3. If you use feed to catch a horse, they want you to make sure you give them some when you do catch ’em . It’s’ just wrong not to. Plus you probably won’t fool them again if you don’t deliver on your promise. Do the deed, share the feed!
4. Make sure their stall is nice & clean so they can poop & pee in there instead of outside. If you don’t, they’ll poop in their water bucket. Trust me, they know exactly how to do it. Repeatedly.
5. You should make sure that they are immaculately clean & shiny so that when you let them loose & they roll, all the mud & poop & grass stains will stick better.
6. Don’t worry. They can hear you screaming at them to get off of your foot. It’s just not a convenient time for them to move their foot at that time.
7. Honestly, they do see that low tree branch on the trail. They know how great it feels to scratch on things. So that tree branch should be great for you. Just ask anybody.
8. The same goes with blowing their nose. You need to be in close proximity to get the full effect. Of course it’s good for you!
9. Oh. A tail-swish to the face is just an added perk for you. Because they love you. It’s a sign of true love.
10. When they are laying on you while you clean their feet they’re just trying to show you how it feels to be one of their legs.
11. After you’ve transferred all of their dirt to yourself, you will be accepted into their circle. You’ll smell like them and will have the proper amount of dirt & sweat, hair, poop & grass on you.
12. When getting into the saddle, don’t hang there like a spider monkey. You’re heavy and it hurts to have someone hanging onto the side of the saddle.
13. When you are going out on the trail/ into the arena/ towards the horse trailer- there are scary things that pop up all over the place. You won’t see them because your eyes aren’t as big as theirs. The scary things really are there. It’s a fact.
14. Speaking of the horse trailer… if there’s no feed in there, forget it. No feed, no need.
15. Horses don’t really get warmed up until you turn around & head for home. It’s the halfway point. That’s the point where they’ve finally acquired their energy and are ready to go. It just seems like they’re barn sour.
Waste Thought, Want Thought 
Comments are always welcome.